So, here’s my truth and my raw vulnerability. I have failed, not once, but twice, but multiple times. I took it for face value for years. I watched as I added more and more evidence that I was a failure. It was my identity, my crutch, and with it I knew the end result which to me was comfort and safety. It’s something I still struggle with even today. I have this innate fear of failure and that keeps me small because there is still that sense of knowing the outcome and keeping myself in a nice cocoon.
I wrote out all my major failures and then thought – what is the significance of it. What was my lesson? How has it shaped me into who I am today? Then, I forgave myself for it. It’s safe for me to play bigger and be successful.
My list of “failures” that keep me thinking small
- I got fired from my first job out of school because I didn’t care, and I constantly questioned the status quo.
- I closed down my first business with debt that took me years to pay off.
- I joined a startup that didn’t treat me like an equal partner. I put years of blood, sweat, and tears into it for very little pay. It’s makes me uncomfortable and disappointed to admit I was a part of it.
- I closed down my second business due to lack of funding and the fact that I wasn’t confident enough to be the CEO.
- I moved home with my tail between my legs and asked my parents for money.
- I applied to over 50 jobs, and didn’t get a single offer. I finally found a part-time contract that said would hire me, but they ran out of money a few months later.
- I joined another startup as a partner but they couldn’t afford to pay me for a few months…TWICE.
The truth about my “failures”
- I was technically laid off and collected EI while I worked on my (side) business. I was able to travel to India to work on the manufacturing and also work with mentors in a fashion incubator.
- My first business was a stepping stone where I learned the basics of social media – blogging (My blog was getting between 5000 to 10000 views a month back in a time when social media wasn’t mainstream). I learned how to network to get actual sales and how to be resourceful.
- My second business allowed for extensive travel across North America and India, honing my skills in marketing even more, a ton of press, amazing opportunities, and even a TV appearance.
- My third business allowed me to explore my passion for menswear while living abroad. I then participated in an accelerator program in San Francisco that trained me how to pitch to real investors. My network from that program still comes in handy even today.
- Moving back home allowed me to pay off all my debt, get into great shape and realize the importance of self-love. Also, that I had a knack for helping startups and entrepreneurs with their growth strategy since getting clients was somehow easy.
- Not getting a job meant I was a natural entrepreneur that needed to stay on this path – I was meant for more.
- My current startup partnership sought me out personally when no one else would give me a chance. We are hitting 1MM ARR this month and its also a sign that I am meant to make money on my own terms.
Your journey will NEVER be a straight line. Each part is a stepping stone to mould you into your true self while fulfilling your soul’s purpose.
Now, I realize my soul’s purpose is to inspire others, teach them how to love themselves, show them what’s possible, remove limitations and barriers, grow their passions into profitable businesses that bring freedom and fulfilment. I want to shout from rooftops the importance of snapping out of it – embrace who you are! Be vulnerable! Be raw! Go get what you want, its waiting for you.
Here’s my dream: to be an international speaker and author that travels the world giving talks. That’s playing big. That’s why I’m here.
How about you? What’s keeping you small and what is your big dream for yourself and your biz?